Dismantling the Hierarchy of Information
The Truth in “The Personal Anecdote”
Written from Bear’s perspective. TW//: Sexual & Relational Violence, Genocide, Transphobia, and mentions of C.S.A (childhood sexual abuse).
In May of 2024, I spent a long weekend at Camp Lost Boys, an immersive retreat for men of trans experience. The weekend consisted of socials, sharing meals together and panels discussing the intersections of trans-manhood. Of all the topics, the panel that has continued to stay with me was led by an elder going through archives and giving us a comprehensive breakdown of transmasc history. He was 78 years old and I burst into tears when I realized that there was a trans person who had been around long enough to be able to share stories that are intentionally ignored and erased.
Despite identifying with transmasculinity my whole life, the only representation I had for my experience were trans people, especially women and femmes, being the butt of the joke. I didn’t learn the word “transgender” until my freshmen year of college at SUNY Purchase, where I had the opportunity to take a “Gender & Sexuality” class. SUNY Purchase is historically known to be a politically left school that prioritizes the arts, creative writing and social sciences. SUNY Purchase still adheres to the standards of a Western Educational system that prioritizes profit over its students, BUT in 2012 and at 18 years old, I felt lucky to be in a place that opened my mind to sociological work and helped me to understand the dynamics of: Western Imperialism, Race, Gender, Class and Sexuality - giving me language for my own lived experience.
Our education, entertainment, and news media plays a crucial role in what information we believe to be real and whose experiences we center.
Empires have and continue to use these mediums to indoctrinate entire countries to maintain power. The less variety in beliefs, realities and perspectives there are, the easier it is to control a people. This has been harder and harder to do as social media platforms advance and become a news source for the majority of people. News today is often videos shared by real people displaying their personal experiences in hopes to gain exposure and support.
We watch the way mainstream media dictates the public discourse and narrative about the genocide of Palestinians and deemphasizes the ethnicity-based violence. Criticisms of Zionism are equated to Anti-Semitism, and Anti-Semitism is used as a scapegoat for the attacks on innocent people, while audiences watch livestreams of Palestinians being murdered for sport at aid distribution sites.
Even with video evidence, I’ve found myself in comment sections wasting my breath with people who are arguing that these videos are staged or AI generated. We see the same about peaceful protests against genocide, I.C.E and police brutality, using language like “riots” and theoretical ideas of “Patriotism”, borders and security, to justify silencing the right to protest.
We see the same with the sex and domestic violence crimes committed by men like P. Diddy and R.Kelly that were literally caught on camera for the world to see. R. Kelly’s heinous video was leaked for over a decade before he was actually held accountable. During that time comedians like Dave Chappelle and shows like The Boondocks turned it into a joke, while he was taking victims right under our noses. The amount of men and women rushing to the comments section to defend the perpetrators, and not the survivors, is devastatingly high, but not shocking. It is especially frustrating, because these arguments are typically rooted in pathological and dehumanizing beliefs about a group of people (black women, girls and children) but never in facts, reality, or a real lived experience.
The South Bronx burned for 10 years because of a discriminatory practice called Red-Lining, which legally prevented Black, Brown, and immigrant people from owning property because their presence “lowered” the value and appeal of a neighborhood. These populations were thus strategically forced to live in over capacity apartment buildings that were neglected, abandoned, and literally set on fire by their landlords. South Bronx building owners would offer desperate houseless people cheap payments to set fires for them to profit from insurance claims. Similar to the way Palestinians are portrayed as the cause of their own suffering, Black and Puerto Rican residents who were tirelessly fighting for reparations and support with rebuilding their community were blamed for the fires. Interviews with white residents from the neighboring areas of the Bronx and Westchester showcase blatant racism, in which residents of the South Bronx are accused of starting the fires because black and brown people are inherently uncivilized, bad, and willing to cause destruction to their own homes, for shits and giggles apparently. The truth makes a lot more sense, but the lie was what was perpetuated, leaving the South Bronx to fend for themselves without any help from those in positions of power for an entire decade.
Trans and queer people have never and will never be immune to the way media and misinformation fuels hatred, violence and gatekeeping against us. The violence against trans people is often intentionally left out of mainstream media. We have to rely on personal anecdotes + experiences AND BELIEVE THEM to begin to undo the rot of this power dynamic, instead of leading with doubt and the incessant need for more proof + context. We need to begin to ask ourselves:
Who are we more likely to believe at face value and why?
The general public’s understanding of Gender & Sexuality tends to exclude experiences of hate crimes, harassment, sexual abuse/assault and physical violence, because these injustices are omitted by mainstream media channels that abide by imperialistic ideologies. T.E.R.F’s (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists- basically, transphobic cis women, who are transphobic in the name of feminism) make arguments, like “trans women can’t be in women’s bathrooms” because they view them as predators, which is persistently affirmed by men in power who are most often the actual predator. Because of intentional misrepresentation, trans people are seen as sexual deviants who are taking advantage of the “gender binary,” as opposed to being seen as people who just want to live authentically. Trans people are another perfect scapegoat because we do not fit the standards and desires of a colonial world. We slow down the imperialistic agenda, which in their eyes makes us objects to be rid of.
Beyond being black, trans, and queer from a gentrified city- I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The only witnesses were myself and my perpetrators, which means it’s their version of the story versus mine. However, it’s not just semantics and a theoretical concept to debate about in comment sections for me; it is the very real impact of the abuse that I had to manage as a child and continue to manage as an adult. My whole life was changed in an instant (and then some), because someone had power over me and used it to harm me. Myself and many other survivors have to carry these realities, while living in a world that persistently reiterates that we will be doubted, unsupported and ostracized for telling the truth. It wasn’t until I found Hidden Water, a peer support group for C.S.A survivors, that I understood my personal story, hearing the stories of other survivors and the impact of my experiences was all I needed to “prove” what happened to me. The emphasis Hidden Water made was that the cycle of abuse is broken when we begin to share our stories with people who believe and support us.
Journalistic gatekeeping is a tool used to train us to doubt victims by dictating which sources are “credible.” We are taught that the truth is carried and defined by those with authority, so that we remain complicit. We must challenge those in power. Western mainstream media continues to make truth a moving target with a mission to center the perspectives, pursuits, and desires of those who hold power and rid themselves of anyone who is harmed by their ideologies.
Within the West and the confines of the cis-gendered-heteronormative-patriarchy + white supremacy, we are conditioned to believe that there is a hierarchy regarding trusted sources of information, deeming personal narratives, anecdotes and (with the advancement of technology), even recorded video evidence as the lowest form of education + sources for real information. Censorship, erasure, misrepresentation and using the media to straight up LIE about what is actually happening in the world, are some of the many methods people in power use to control us and turn us against the populations that need the most support.
No matter how hard they continue to try to erase the narratives of oppressed people, we will always be here. The idea that a personal anecdote and life experience can serve as what’s true and real, scares those who benefit from disempowering, victimizing and eradicating the most vulnerable.
Controlling how people can express sexuality and gender is an effective strategy to restricting individuality, personality, and understanding of self. Gender and sexuality are personal, ever-changing, ongoing journeys for each and every one of us. Our personal anecdotes matter, because gender and sexuality are attached to our identity, which is both personal and political. Our lived experience can uphold and tell the stories that we, as a collective, are subject to navigate on a multitude of scales. I’m grateful to be a part of spaces like Camp Lost Boys, Hidden Water and others that center the voices and experiences of misrepresented communities.
The work Fifi & I do emphasizes that the connection to our bodies, environments, and lived experiences, is actually the *most* reliable source of truth and information. In our workshops about sexuality + relationships, the message that we want to make the most clear is this:
We must continue to challenge the conditioning of dominant culture and build + create accessible spaces that center the lived experiences of the misrepresented, misunderstood and the most targeted people.
RESOURCES FOR TRAUMA SURVIVORS:
BxF WORKSHOP - Navigating Trauma & Erotic Intimacy / password: queerdo! / Slide Show to follow along.
Here is a list of support groups & helpful templates can be found in the slide show:
For CSA + SA Survivors:
https://supportgroups.saprea.org
https://hiddenwatercircle.org
https://1in6.org (Men Only)
UPCOMING EVENT:
In love & service,
Bear